Necessary Detours
Detours in Life
Learn to adore a detour.
‘Kathy Cagney’
Every spring we lay out our specially chosen calendars; me - a zen theme with inspiring quotes, my husband - nature vistas and my daughter, paintings by VanGogh.
My husband relays where we’re going and when, with meticulous precision. He’s done the grunt work: staying up until after midnight to secure our reservations.
Our vacations mostly consist of several weeks travelling to Jasper, Manning Park, Harrison Lake, Victoria and Tofino.
Spending time in nature’s beauty has become our main priority after my husband’s brush with death in 2013.
With V A C A T I O N scribbled across the dates, the countdown begins.
Sun peeking through at our second stop in Nanaimo, BC
Ferry crossing on a hike, Salt Spring Island, BC
To say that our annual trip to Tofino is a highlight would be a seismic understatement.
It’s more of a commencement ceremony stepping barefoot onto Cox Bay.
Imagination stirs. We walk, talk and make life plans, dreaming wider than our narrow perspectives while the sound of pounding waves drowns out the mundane and routine.
In French you would say, it’s a ‘moment incroyable,’ (amazing time.)
Surfs up on Cox Bay, Tofino, BC
As a kriya yogi, I do my best to remain detached. The practice is called, Tiktisha. It means to be calm and evenminded throughout life’s ups and downs to prevent unnecessary suffering. After all, things change often.
The philosophy is similar to stoicism. In layman’s terms, it means to relax and remain in control of yourself, choosing positive attitudes and thoughts.
I do this by facing situations head-on with humility, keeping in mind there are things I can’t control for good reason. For instance, last I checked, I don’t run the universe.
Easier to do when it’s just me. Asking my husband who suffers from OCPD to relax and ride the wave goes against everything he knows. I could go on and on about his several notable traits, but obsessive-compulsive personality disorder isn’t one of them.
In his mind, once a plan is made, he’s fixated and can’t fathom an alternate route.
Think of a greyhound chasing a rabbit.
Side irony: (We adopted an ex-racer greyhound.)
Nikon 1.2 on Salt Spring Island, BC once we accepted we’d be vacationing there.
Friendly flamenco at our campsite in Nanaimo, BC
Statue in the woods in Nanaimo, BC
So when the highway to Tofino was closed due to a human-caused wildfire, we made a split-second decision to find the nearest campsite and wait it out.
On the second day, with no news of the highway opening, we began accepting that we may need a change of plans. But not without a fair bit of inner turmoil.
We remembered Tofino, like an old friend, waiting to greet us with dairy-free salted caramel ice cream, moist date bread and sunsets on the beach. Moving on meant letting go of all the memories we had yet to make.
As someone with a ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way’ mentality, releasing our original plan felt like giving up. But, the reality was the fire was spreading, the road was damaged and the alternate logging road was not a viable option for us.
That’s when I made a mental pivot and the thought of ‘Salt Spring’ came to mind. I found one place, called and when no one answered, hung up and unabashedly dialled right back.
A friendly yet frazzled woman answered after several rings and relayed that yes, she did have space for us, but we’d have to wait three days.
We changed our plans and found a place to hunker down until Sunday.
Deer caught on camera on a hike, Salt Spring Island, BC.
Jersey cow laying in the field, Salt Spring Island, BC.
Cute Farm Stand on Salt Spring Island, BC
In the end, we found ourselves staying at a cute and cozy campsite fit for hobbits on Salt Spring Island and recently received news the highway will remain closed for weeks.
Together as a family, the moment we decided to accept the detour life had for us, we stopped looking at what could have been and got excited about our new adventure.
At dinner, my husband even commented, “The lesson here is to embrace change, don’t fight it. Sometimes it's supposed to take you in the direction you’re meant to go. In other words, nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.”
Woah. Move over, yoda!
Upon reflection, I see that the detour has become a growth experience for us as a family.
Our willingness to accept change and become excited by new possibilities has inspired us to consider how we make decisions in other areas of our lives.
I definitely feel like I’ve stepped out of a mental rut that I didn’t know I was in. It seems to happen when we get used to things going as planned.
Now we’re seeing options we didn’t see before.
Family walk at our campsite in Nanaimo while waiting to go to Salt Spring Island, BC.
TAKEAWAY: Make plans, work toward them and prepare. If everything falls apart, consider it a friendly nudge from the Universe to consider another plan that may work out better and teach us a few lessons we need to learn. Also, food for thought: a carefully constructed plan is an idea. Ideas come and go, like sunsets and sunrises. There are just ideas until we expect them to become circumstances that make us happy. Maybe that’s the problem, our expectations are killing all the fun.
Been on any interesting detours lately?
Until next month,
Shana Lee
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